Jokes (Funny ones)

Put some good jokes in here.... i want some good laughs lol

Yer thats actually a good idea chrizzy mate

We'll have to get some of them happening

ok....

there were threee idiots in the car driving down the highway going to Disneyland. They saw a signn that said "Disneyland Left". So they went home
rofl

How did the idiot break hi sarm whilst raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree

Why did the idot break two windows?
One to get in and one to get out

Why did the idiot get fired from the m&m factory?
Because he threw out all of the w's

Why did the idot get fired from the banana factory?
Becuase he threw out all of the bent ones

lol

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrohea

What is green, sits in the corner and sulks?
The Incredible Sulk

What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
It wooden go

What kind of room had no door, no windows, no floor and no roof?
A mushroom

What flies and wobbles?
A jellycopter

Why cant a bicycle stand up?
It is two tired.


Here are the latest inventions:

Ejector seat on a helicopter
Waterproof teabags
Parachutes that open on impact


Here are the newest release books

How to be taller. by Stan Dupp
How to be shorter. by Neil Down & Ben Down
Striong Winds. by Gail Forse
World Atlas. by Joe Graffie
Rice Growing. by Paddy Field
Horror stories. by R.U. Scared.
The Unknown Author. by Anne Onymous
The long walk to school. by Mr Bus
Infectious Diseases. by Willie Catchit
Hungry Dog. by Nora Bone
A hole in the Bycket. by Lee King
Explosives for Beginners. by Dinah Might
Sahara Journey. by Rhoda Camel
Cliff Tragedy. by Eileen Dover & Eileen Toofar
Easy Money. by Robin Banks

They are some good one Tofzz. I have got one


A Man Called Fred

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."

"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

very good spelling tofzz anyway are you in grade 10 if you are who are you?